Anywhere but Westminster - What we can learn from Brexit?

   It has been more than three years to the day of the decision fo United Kingdom to exit the European Union(EU). "Brexit" the term coined for this separation was perhaps a euphemism to what has been a long and possibly torturous process that has all of the country unhappy. The first problem that arose was the margin itself. With a 51.9 % majority for leaving , one can argue that whether the decision was made with sufficient information in public space. I think not. Without the fine details of what the terms would be for such a separation, the decision was taken by the people believing their political representatives would iron out a good deal for them.

  After three years, no matter which side of the decision you choose, the conclusion is that the political representatives have failed to deliver a safe conduct for their county. As I write now, there is a second extension being asked from EU after a nearly comical chain of events in the British Parliament. The twists and turns in this saga would probably put a lot of our own TV series to shame. However, before blaming them, one has to really understand why the majority chase to leave the EU? What prompted this all? Largely, we can safely safe the people who did not benefit from being in the EU (I think neglected is an appropriate term) voted for having their country back. The sentiment echoed in much of President Trump being chosen in a way and the slogan "Make America Great Again!". The anger and frustration of being neglected with the loss of jobs and access to a good life was a time bomb ticking. Brexit shows how things add up and how many times the affluent middle class(in this case those who benefited from being in EU) showed apathy to the neglected neighbourhood. Just to add that never have I seen such a bunch of politicians in the UK . You could choose any of them from any side and they would not stand the test of time. After three years of negotiations with EU, they have come back to the same place where they have started i.e nowhere.

One can only wish and pray that not much livelihoods are lost as we go into the next upcoming years.

  As an observer, the things we can learn a lot from the Brexit mess. One for sure is to always read and question any decision that a government takes. Read the fine print. In the same year as Brexit, we were subjected to demonetisation by our own government without sufficient information in public space. All these experiments need to stop. The second one is to elevate quality politicians up the ladder of which we have a chance in the upcoming elections. So, voting these elections for a quality candidate automatically becomes a prerogative. We don't know for sure what the future for Brexit will be but it gives us a chance to introspect. Let's use that !

The Declassification of Information and India

De-classification of information by any Government presents its citizen with a viewpoint of what went behind the decisions that the Government made.  The process of de-classification involved making public of all the communication that transpired in Government decisions. Hitherto, this was a secret vault was closely guarded. By de-classifying the footnotes, scribbled  handwritings a great insight into the functioning of the Govt. Independent India has been shy of de-classifying its wealth of information . Unlike the US and UK where a government papers are up for review after 25 and 30 years, we have been largely unaccustomed to this process. 

   A great step forward  was when the Indian Govt started de-classifying information through its website (https://tinyurl.com/yxtuz4lb). There is a treasure trove of information on this site right back to the British Era.However, what is equally impressive is the search engine (http://www.abhilekh-patal.in/jspui/_) that has been provided for an interested citizen. Just to fire imagination, an interest use case is that of Alexander Kovacs. Alexander Kovacs was a Hungarian Jew who had escaped warn torn Europe to be in service of British India in 1941. Being an expert in weapons and ammunition, the British employed him in Calcutta. However, being a foreign national in India brought him under the eye of the intelligence and police apparatus of Bengal. The files declassified show the to and fro in the Indian Govt on establishing the credentials of Kovacs during his stay in India from 1941-45. Why did I choose Kovacs as an example? The reason being on leaving India Kovacs went to New York and from there in the services of the dictator Rafael Trujillo to help him establish the famed San Cristobal armoury.

  Just another good case is that of Netaji Subhash Chandra Bose. The files declassified are present at http://www.netajipapers.gov.in/. Conspiracy theories have surfaced from time to time about the fate of Netaji. The Netaji papers do at least help in shedding some truth behind what is still unknown. The underlying fact that this information is available for all of us to read and understand our history. Being an avid student of history, it helped me understand the machinery of parliament and police in matters of secrecy. Would highly recommend people to read and use this information.

Memento Mori !

Memento Mori or "Remember that you have to die". You have to feel it. It's a calling. I could not put it better. Being in competitive corporate culture, one forgets this so often. The thing that put this notion in my head is my reading on Stoicism and this fabulous painting which explains (Thank you Daily Stoic for this !).

This landmark painting called "Still Life with a Skull" by Philippe De Champaigne constitutes the three essentials - tulip(life), skull(death) and hourglass(time). What holds on to you is the skull and if you notice closely, the hourglass as the real dynamic part. The skull looking at you gives the message that you are it in a future time frame with the hour glass being the reminder. However, it should not be taken on a depressing note. On the contrary, it should send the message that life should be lived to the fullest and that valued for others as well. Thankfully, I have been on a digital detoxification drive allowing me to have some time to have reflections on my own. If you have a love/passion, give it the time it needs. Life is short as the Stoics say. Make full use of what is gifted to you. Enjoy the "present". 

Urbanation Dance Project - A new experiment in synergy of dance styles

Much of innovation in the dance world is now based around  how the small/medium dance companies position themselves. The creative juices employed by these dance crews is fostering a rapid change in an erstwhile fatigued dance culture across the college and professional landscape. One such case is that of Urbanation Dance Project (UDP) by an upcoming company Left Foot Right Danceworks(LFRD) based in HSR Layout, Bangalore.

 LFRD has interesting moorings. Launched by a group of working professionals to satiate their desire for inventing movements, it is a perfect example of the growing dance culture that Bangalore is witnessing. Not yet  a year old, one cannot fail to notice the rapid strides that these dedicated group of dancers are making in re-shaping the dance space. "Dance Alloy 2015" was their first big showcase where they exposed their interest in different movement styles like Kalari, Jazz, lyrical hip hop and contemporary. This was also a big learning curve as a big showcase always is for a upcoming dance company.

As the UDP came after a clear 2 months post their first bigger showcase, one can notice the change in the thought process. First and foremost was the lineup of instructors for the project. Two famed contemporary dancers, an upcoming improvisation exponent and three from different urban styles made up an interesting synergy between the stage and the street. The contemporary dancers-Ryan Martyr and Eden Pereira need no introduction. As they graced the project with their flowing styles, the audience was left gasping to catch their deep movements. Eden who has been schooled in ballet introduced the participants to the intricacies of his movement,especially, the leg work. It was in clear understanding of how much effort  has been put in developing and mastering this niche skill. Kudos to that !

The three urban dancers-Ravi, Maryann and Junaid were not far behind.  Ravi Varma is a class act. Hip Hop has been gaining ground in the college scenes and in the dance culture for quite some time. In his routine, Ravi introduced the participants to connect their feeling with dance irrespective of the song and the language. As it came across, the participants did not feel the need to understand the lyrics of a Tamil song where the overpowering emotion of a lost love was so nicely connected in his dance vocabulary. If participants were feeling the emotional connect in this crazy hip hop routine,

Maryann's dancehall unleashed a feeling of glee across the board. Maryann is an upcoming dancehall exponent based in Chennai. As she introduced the participants to the nitty gritties of dancehall which has evolved from the Caribbean dance styles, the participants found  fun in movements as they were made comfortable with the ease that dancehall demands. Much needs to be seen how dancehall shapes out in front of the hip hop scene. If all of the learning of new styles had worked out the participants, Atul's session on contact improvisation made them have a massaging feeling. The participants were made aware of the use of space and challenged to come up with their own vocabulary.It was a much needed therapeutic session as the participants drove deep into their own minds and bodies to extract the answers to the questions that they often forget to put forth. Atul's maturity in handling the charge must not be forgotten.

The second point that LFRD did with UDP did was to have it for an extended duration. Spanned over three days, it exposed participants the different dance style for a longer time. This allowed the participants to assimilate the dance styles more clearly than the one day one session format which is

so popular today. This needs to be propagated to allow a much deeper understanding in movements rather than just scratch the surface and leaves the audience more satisfied. Last but not the least was the amazing question answer session. The insights into the growing process of a dancer in his own style is always a learning experience for all. There was a great deal of laughter and enthusiasm flowing to and fro between the instructors and their participants. The best way to end this is probably to leave you with  a video which should speaks for itself. Bring more of this on LFRD !

Disclaimer: I was not able to do justice to Ryan and Junaid as I was present only for a day.

Casualties of the juggling act : Women and their Talent in the Software Industry

The Indian software industry finds in its ranks, one of the most talented and smartest women that the country has to offer. However, the climb for all such women is arduous with severe sacrifices involved in the path. More often than not, they find themselves in positions of frustration given the social conservatism that encompasses the business world and the society at large

Introduction: The Indian society is a patriarchal society with clear set of rules defined for the roles that men and women have to play. Men have been the bread winners while the onus of the well being of the family lies with the women. This was the status quo, until the last phase of the 20th century where women, seriously, started challenging men in their positions of power.  Its not been an easy ride for even their western counterparts either. Debora Spar in her article "When Mommy track leads to a dead end" highlights the concerns of the career track known as "the career secondary" or the mommy track for women[1]. As she points  for women returning after a prolonged leave due to maternity or family issues, "Positions disappear; salaries plummet; professional relationships grow stale. And at the end of the day, only 40  percent of women who try to return to full-time professional jobs actually manage to do so. The rest settle into early retirement, or slower paced, lower-ranked jobs." The "career primary" women,however, behaved like men and were most likely remain single or childless. The onus of success in the business world lies with these women.
Coming back home, in a landmark study of its kind ,Prof.  Vasanthi Srinivasan from IIIM Bangalore pointed out the talent concerns of women employed in the Indian IT Industry in her work "THE LEAKY BUCKET OF FEMALE TALENT IN THE INDIAN IT INDUSTRY" along with her student Monisha Nakra. In this work, she argues over three factors that define career persistence for Indian women:
a) Self: the need of a career, marriage & motherhood importance
b)Social: Role models, Family support, Marriage pressure and work-family conflict
c) Structural: Mentors at workplace,child care, networking and stigmas
 The study agreed to what Debora Spar had already concluded. The Indians and their Western counterparts shared the same view on career tracks for women.
The study, however, points no guidelines to men. Often in workplaces, women in marriages or with children are frowned upon to take challenging roles. Also, marriage & children make it impossible for women to work in shifts. Long leaves of maternity add to the difficulties in acceptance for challenging roles. Family concerns like change of job location of husband add to the woes. Some of the brilliant women I have encountered had their careers wither away because of this one reason.With respect to children, behind doors, women have told me of the following rules:
a) Rule of one: Avoid taking challenging roles
b) Rule of two: End of career
Putting a child into creches is a stigma in Indian society for which thee  women sacrifice their career. As seen, the juggling act of family and career exhausts all the reserve of Indian women making it difficult for them to achieve their talent potentials.

Solution: There is a dire need to address this leaky bucket. Much of the onus has to fall on the family and the men involved in the women's life. There needs to be a new vocabulary needed by men to endear them to this cause.Men should or make provisions for :
a) Minimum break in a women's career due to family issues/maternity
b) Sabbatical for child care for a period of time
c) Help in day to day running of the family
d) Respect the option if the woman does not want to have children
Women should realize that they have a 40% chance of being where they were after  a career break. Hence, they in turn, need to identify these breaks very early. In certain cases, its not possible and they need to sacrifice their career, they should counsel/get counseled on such issues. These periods could be used to re-skill themselves.  Workplaces should, in turn, provide child care facilities in their vicinity. This is, in my opinion, easier said than done. However, the attempts need to be made by larger companies first. Picking up challenging roles in early part of life is also a good option. The labour laws have been refined for the IT/ITES sector. These should be taken into account while planning.
The contribution of women in a fast growing country like India has been fractional in terms of roles in the industry. The eminent scientist, Dr. Raghunath Mashelkar, has opined as a "women centric" society as one of the pillars for the development of Indian society[3]. The vision can be bought to its fruition only if juggling act stops and women are able to give serious justice to the talents they possess.

References:
[1] Debora Spar, http://www.thedailybeast.com/witw/articles/2013/09/27/debora-spar-s-wonder-women-career-on-ramps-off-ramps-u-turns-and-dead-ends.html
[2] Vasanthi Srinivisan and M. Nakra," The Leaky Bucket of Female Talent in the Indian IT Industry". http://tejas.iimb.ac.in/articles/90.php.
[3] R. Mashelkar,"Reinventing India", pp.26.

The image is taken from the article, "http://maryandmoney.com/lifestyle/the-juggling-act/". for educational purposes only.

The mistrust of Kashmir

One of the compounding problems that current incumbent PM of India,Narendra Modi, must face is his policy regarding Kashmir. Forever, a contentious issue, India has always maintained a stand of it being an internal dispute while Pakistan has always called it an international dispute. Between these lines, is the true problem, the faith of the Kashmiri people has been played with.

History:
A perspective of Kashmir's history is very important.Having a Hindu and Buddhist past, the true freedom of the Kashmir was killed by the invasion of Mughals in 1540. Akbar is still a hated figure in Kashmir as he established 167 years of Mughal rule. It was then followed by the Durrani's and the Sikh rule.It was not until that the Dogra ruler Gulab Singh, through treachery, in 1846 from the British rule bought Kashmir,that the conundrum of Kashmir started. A Hindu ruler over a Muslim majority was established. Not to say, it was an oppressive rule.  With the freedom from British, then then ruler of the state, Hari Singh, was of the view of staying independent from both the dominions of India and Pakistan. However, the tribal attacks engineered by Pakistan in 1947, forced his hand to seek the help of India. India,promptly, pointed out that Kashmir was a foreign land and Hari Singh,then signed the Instrument of Accession with India. The state was in turmoil and as with the accession rules at that time, a plebiscite of people was not carried. Article 370 was borne out of this and an interim Government was formed to form the constution for the State with the plebiscite pending. Pandit Nehru's and Sardar Patel's affirmed pledges on plebiscite are attached. Violence erupted in the valley in late 1980's and it was a tale of brutal military assault, making Kashmir a military garrison which continues till the day. The flight of the Kashmiri Pandits during this period, exacerbated what was already a delicate situation.

Current Situation and Problems:
Kashmir has been a military camp for the past 35 years. Successive state govts were not strong enough(most of the elections were rigged!) and have diluted Article 370. The people of Kashmir mistrust their politicians. There are severe human right violations and as such the people of Kashmir severely mistrust the Government of India. In addition, mistrust between the communities is rampant. The atmosphere is vitiated further with instances such as continuous demands of abrogation of Article 370 and border skirmishes.

Solution:
Kashmir is a political problem and cannot be solved by military occupation. Also, its not as much as a geography issue as much as it is about of the faith of the Kashmiri people. Any solution has to involve the faith of the people and they should be the bedrock of this solution. So, any solution should involve the political people who the Kashmiri people deem as their true representatives. One of the best things the earlier PM did was to facilitate a peace accord with President Musharraf in 2006. President Musharraf had put up a four point plan which was realistic. The plan was:
[1] Kashmir should have the same borders but people be allowed to move freely across the region;[2] The region should have self-governance or autonomy but not independence; [3] Troops should be withdrawn from the region in a phased manner; and [4] a joint mechanism comprising representatives from India, Pakistan and Kashmir be set up to supervise the implementation of such a roadmap for Kashmir.

If this is agreed by the representatives of the Kashmiri people, this could go a long way in resolving a historic issue.

Disclaimer: All errors regarding facts are attributed to the original post.

(a) Vallabhbhai Patel's assertion

(b) Pandit Nehru's pledge

An eulogy on joy of festivals

Its time we started realising that there needs to be an epitaph for enjoying Indian festivals. The dangerous and ominous trends are there for everybody to see. First and foremost, I am not saying that we do not enjoy. What I want to point out, the fun quotient is becoming less and less.
  Indian Festivals are a big family affair. Its one of the rare occasions where we get to meet everybody from our family and close friends. Catch up on the gossip and the general happenings. Add to it the colors and the sparkles of festivals and you get a complete 360 degree view of what being an Indian means. Not long ago, as a kid, we used to make our own festival cards. Occasionally, help our mothers and grandmothers with sweets and of course, munch half of them.  And these festivals meant business as well. We would be setting up our own stalls of crackers and asking friends to look after them. It also meant a lot of cleaning and doing a lot of shopping. We used to go to these saree shops where my aunts would get themselves draped in these zillions and colors. Under the careful eyes of the elders, we sang, dance and enacted plays on stage. The world was a big place then. Meeting people in person was very exciting.
The present looks so impoverished. The personal touch has diminished, if not gone completely. There are lesser people to meet and more of excuses. The cooking is now purchases off the shelf and the stalls of crackers have slowly disappeared. Cards are now replaced by messages(colorful though!) to people unknown on Facebook walls and other social media. Talking is replaced by chatting to people on the net or making phone calls. Recently, I met a friend after a long time. There was so much to talk about.  and both of us were aware that we had limited time. I can only say that we managed to barely scrap the surface of all the topics.
Progress is also a persuasion to change of lifestyle. As humans, we give importance to efficiency and as such customs will naturally wither away. With the future more gadgetized and  uncertain, the communication is likely to drop  in value. As time would be precious, the meeting methods would change. Probably, in a coming few years, we would be meeting virtually inside each others houses. Its also exciting times as many things could be accomplished within a given small time frame. Ideas would be stored and calibrated and not forgotten. However, the relation of technology, culture and lifestyle would definitely be non linear. To ask in the end, I am sure I would be making videos of what I enjoy now. Maybe, it will be a treat to watch in the years to come.

Happy Dussehra to All !

Why still no "acche din" for Indian women?

Recently, I read a report by a two member all female team about the lawlessness that pervades the state of Uttar Pradesh. On 27th May 2014, two Dalit women were shamefully hung from the tree in the Katra Siadatganj of Badaun District of Uttar Pradesh. This was one high profile event which caused the whole of India to put their head in absolute shame. Not six months ago, the Nirbhaya rape case had put India on the world map for gender discrimination and possibly, violence against women. This was followed by the much maligned UN report in 2014 to show our place to the world in what we lack - a safe place for our women.

Its a commendable job by the two authors - Shefali Mishra and Hema Badhwar Mehra who took up the onus on themselves on what dwells in these lawlessness. And what they found, should not come as  surprise. From gender bias, apathy of police, lack of concern from society, dowry demands, exploitation in the name of caste, sodomy, rape and deep sense of fear - the report delves on the deeper malice within a society which venerates Indian women as goddess in one hand and so shamefully, rapes her on the other. A case of Jekyll and Hyde. Not only is the patriarchal attitude of the society but of the state is my  cause of concern. Our politicians have been allotting more money to grandiose statues than to safety & security of women. Often, even that is not utilized.The report also elegantly points out to the solutions. There are multitude of them, mostly, reactive. However, the most pro-active is to sensitize the little children of this bias. To teach them that all are equal. Not to infect them with what has already been infected. 

On a personal note, I have been studying this topic for a decade now. However, modern we say we are, we still lack equality. Gender bias is also very subtle in cities. Careers, children and relations are the continuous juggle that modern women do everyday,almost, subconsciously. Often, in this triangle, a women can choose only two. Most often, she sacrifices her career for the good of her children and relations. Too many brilliant women end up having an evanescent identity- somebody's wife or mother or worst, none. I have always loved the way the women in my life define and describe their relations. The older the women gets, the better the definition and the description. The influences of my grandmother(she was illiterate women but did she have a view) have been on me.

Despite all of this, Indian women have excelled within the narrow domains that the society binds them into. Many of them are heads of states, olympic champions, business leaders and have successful careers in medicine and technology. There is a need of the hour for the men to step up. To answer them in a language which has been so missing in Indian males. To listen to them of their issues and to care for them. To dress them and not watch them undress. To think of their bodies for a dance and not for objectification . To all of us conscious, the revolution of Indian women is on the anvil. With better education and opportunity, they are bound to excel. And we have then the ideas that we have been so missing. At the end of this, I am seriously thankful. I wrote all of this. #saveourwomenINDIA

P.S: The link for the report is:
 http://www.aamaadmiparty.org/sites/default/files/Report%20on%20crimes%20against%20women%20in%20UP.pdf

Making sense of "Digital"

There has probable never been such a dramatic change in lifestyle between two generations. Smartphones,those tiny smart devices,must be the inception of this new era which we called "Digital",  clearly separating me from the generation earlier. What is Digital? There are throngs of new definitions for this new witchcraft. The closest possible which I could relate it was "Digital is not technology, its a lifestyle". So true!

 With the advent of smartphones, these tiny devices singularly became the status symbol in a society so graded in its inequality. As the attachments with these devices dived deeper, so did our identification with these devices and the multitude of apps these devices provide. As the devices changed, so did our need to acquire them and control our identity viz a viz these harbingers of change. But, this is all technology for sure. A naive question can be asked: How did it change me? I think I call it customization. As these tiny devices could be customized with features of our choice, we progressively in turn made no stone unturned to accommodate all of the space. And this was not a matter of fact an individual only who changed. The need was felt by organizations, business leaders , political leaders and governments to deal with this blank canvas and create their own niche spaces(Sometimes false!). And, slowly, we are now more and more unreal. Smartphones, tabs, goggles,watches , wristbands etc are now sending us all the data that encapsulates us in the digital word providing us an identity which we would have probably scoffed off as false a few years ago. The communication I entertain through these devices is now under instrumentation and carefully interrogated to ascertain my views and sentiments.

Its difficult to predict a future for this. Health services and research can be shared using this great platform and at the same time a human being can be monitored and his privacy intruded with the same. Will our nature change when we find out that its possible to know about our intimate  secrets or the privacy of those we love is violated through hacking or false distribution. Would this be criminal and a person who violates the law be called a criminal? An individual with a customized data representing him cannot be real in my opinion. There are many interesting questions that must be thought of. As of now, lets just enjoy the ride.

The Curious Case of Modern Indian Women

Recently, there was an advertsement which shows a female boss doing what all bosses do all the time i.e trying to meet impossible deadlines on an assignment. Now, if it had not been for that one little twist, the ad would not have generated so much interest. The twist was that one of the colleagues she is trying to convince to meet the impossible deadline for the assignment is none other than her husband. The female boss leaves office early to proceed to her kitchen to cook food and like any dutiful wife, calls her husband at what time he will be coming. The ad ends with the wife asking her husband to forget about his boss for a day to enjoy the good food she has cooked for him.

This ad has generated an uproar on social media since
a) It challenges the society defined gender specific roles where males have always had an upper hand in a relationship . The status quo is challenged as a female is shown to be the boss of her husband.
b) The female is stereotyped to her role in the kitchen even though she is putting the same amount of effort as her husband.

Coming back to the nuances of the contemporary relationship between a man and woman in an Indian society, we are yet to define the space for a modern woman. For long has our traditional society feared that the independent woman is a danger to its existence. The society , state and the man must realize the following:
=>A modern woman is not a) Follower of a man b) Is not limited to a kitchen c) In no way dependent on a family d)Ready to take risks which define her (even if they are against wishes of a family)
=>A modern man must a)put effort into his relationship with a woman as his equal b) accept that he doesn't not need to always lead a woman c)Think about the career growth of the woman.

Equality for women is misnomer term used in India. In practice, the equality is squashed when conflict of interest/clash arises. To sight some examples would be
a) Decisions which help a male gain career advantage over a woman(i.e moving from one geographical location to another)
b) Not seeking promotions/challenging roles so that she earns more than her husband
c) Quitting her career for family oriented roles/responsibilities

We are on the path of gender wars where each gender tries to eye the other suspiciously. The mutual co-existence that was shared is en route to chaos as the society refuses to come up with a framework to replace the gender bias in roles. Its challenging indeed. Given that our history is purely illustrative and tarnished with the absence of super heroines, the challenge remains to find the guiding lights within the chaos to provide an escape to the growing frustration in our modern women. I have got a flurry of thoughts on how to achieve that but as I watch the ad repeatedly, I wonder "Did the assignment get completed?".

The Proverbial "Sir"

"But Sir, this is not what I meant. I knew about this a long time ago", said my one female friend to the other in a state of animated banter. Now, this "Sir" reference caused me to go in a state of shock. How on earth could she refer to the other maiden as "Sir" ? I quickly ran a mental check and a dictionary one as well. Yep, a female in any form should be a 'Madam'. I was relieved.

However, the incident left its mark.It left me introspecting whether  all the gold old days of the "Madam" are dead or Indian women's new found feminism finally evolved imitating a man's world in practice and speech.Rubbish! Ah, but such is the nature of the human mind. It removes the specifics and deals with the obsoletes. There was no escaping this chain of thoughts.

Much like many things in India, English is a gift of the British Raj and its salutations have often been used (most of the time abused) by ordinary Indians in their haste to identify themselves different from the crowd. Now, not only is the "Sir" an honorary reference to a man but also an honor to be prefixed before your name when the British Govt. knighted you. You see there is so much pride attached when someone calls you Sir Alec or Sir Ian. One of my favorite British TV series "Yes Minister", made delicate use to this reference often in a very hilarious way.

However, coming back to the Indian scene, we are calling every Tom, Dick and Harry a "Sir". My colleague often ends up getting called a Sir and so do I and so does the bus conductor in a local bus."Sir, a ticket to Shanthi Nagar" I chime every time to get my ticket. My conductor bursts into that ego satisfying smile which I cannot explain in words! However, I get my ticket and merry I go. But then Mumbai is a city where you see a certain salutation change. The "Sir" gets replaced by a "Boss". So, everybody is a "Boss" and well a lady saying to another lady as "Boss" isn't much to write about either. Smart Mumbaites !

Pune is a city where I found there was no salutation needed. As a matter of fact, it will be an affront to a Puneite to be referred as a "Sir". He would wash it off with the same disgust you flush your toilet. No need of any salutations, we understand your game is the nature. Talk straight.Sigh! Down south are the jovial guys whose dictionary of English term probably deserves another blog ! I will do justice to that some day. Until then, thank you for reading my mumblings "Sir"! Wait..did I go wrong somewhere ;)

The modern laws of attraction

It has never been more difficult and challenging than now to lure the fairer sex into our sweet talk. And if there is any sign of this great art inversely abeting with age of the women, think twice before you act. Gone are the days when you could trap a 5-6 year old for a peck on your cheek with talk of lollipops and chocolates. Its now a full blown greed that is the thorn that a modern man sits to appease the demands of these fatal females.

I never miss an opportunity, though, to battle my wits with these young fairies in hope that my charm would ultimately win over their often underestimated wisdom. And yes they do battle hard for their own sake as I see amazingly where the seeds of resilience of modern day woman are sowed. Women in all shapes and sizes are animals difficult to please. At a party I targeted a six year old of my charm. My final wish was to earn her hand in marriage as a part of the deal and gleefully walk away with a peck on my cheek. I approached her and asked, "Whats your name?". "Dia" she replied. Realising that she was really comfortable, I further  deepened the plot with talk of school and best friends. I suddenly popped with the million dollar question,"Will you  marry me?". Now there is something about women of all ages and the notion of marriage. A mere mention of that sent her in bounds of delight which I took for a big "Yes".It was akin to complementing a boy for playing like Sachin. Nevertheless she soon proved my equal in the art of bargaining. Pressing home the advantage, I asked her "Where will we stay?". She yelled in a big house with AC and servants. Point 1 to note is at 6 years she has already thought of a house. Cleverly, I gave her a planet called Falan to live which she gracefully accepted. I remarked, " What will we eat? Who will cook food?". Poor thing had no answer. I saved her the blushes saying that we will eat pineapples on the planet and I will cook for her. Time for my peck on the cheek question. What will we do for the whole day? "Play swing swing " pat came the answer. No ,I said until I receive a peck on the cheek with which I was gladly rewarded.Mission accomplished.

You can see clearly my charms working on the younger maidens. Now, the point why it does not work on their elder counterparts is unfathomable to me. I have applied all lotions and creams to get their attraction. Spraying myself with axe wodoo to get the famed "axe" effect, I walked in the middle of the road. I was sure that I would be soon followed by an army of heavenly nymphs. But to my utter surprise, I could only see a couple of street dogs behind me. Nor did changing my undergarments to those brands like Rupa, Lux or VIP get me a super sexy dame in my arm. It only ended me with a lot and scratching at the wrong ends.I tried using "fresh breath" as an ultimate weapon following to gather attention of any of the fairer denizens. I even tried to be "The complete Man" as the ads so profess with a dressing style to match. After I had run a complete course of shampoos, exotic soaps , perfumes, branded clothes etc I found difficult to get traction on infusing my charm on these elderly nymphs.

A dejected man as I was cooking came to my rescue. As my list of recipes increased, so did my fame. I cannot believe that the stench of sweat and masalas can be so attractive. Therein lies the conundrum. What attracts these eves is difficult to surmise. As I plan my next chess moves, I couldn't help but observe. The laws of attraction have changed.

The Army of Shadows

There are movies and there are "the" movies. Being a fan of neo-realism cinema, I have loved the works of Rossilini nd Satyajit Ray to the core. But, this ones special. Set in the backdrop of Vichy France, this French movie  is an unparalleled tale of valour and heroism in the dark period of WW2. The movie depicts a deadly cat and mouse game between the Nazi Gestapo and the French Resistance fighters in its complete gory capacity. The absolute hopelessness of battling an evil Goliath intricately captured in the camera lens provides us a birds eyes view of what actually happened in those dark days. Many of these fighters met ghastly deaths and were forgotten in unmarked graves. A thought of what the cult figure of Jean Moulin must have gone through in the hideous torture chambers of Gestapo at Hotel Terminus is just left dangling in my mind . That this army was one of the reasons for the fall of the Nazis is a moment to celebrate and cherish

Times have changed. This painful past is a memory to forget and forgive. But, what remains is to observe the present. In a curious thought, I decided to persist to find this army of shadows in our present day society. It was not until on my way cycling for my morning swim, that I saw my army. Armed with brooms, these old ladies were in full bloom cleaning the streets . It was a moment of discovery truly. Often, I failed to spot these helping hands who do this job of cleaning the dirt and muck in the society. Those men who step down the sewers to clean the shit pile or people whom we notice in times of distress are a real boon. In a society obsessed with finding and talking about problems, they are the solutions. I decided to go a step further.I started knowing them better. I now know my watchman better.  These people whom you won't provide a cursory glance let alone respect live in their own world of troubles. In an idea I call the "name" experiment, I just asked them their names. In my conversation, I started referring to them by their names and it created a magical ambience. They became happy that somebody was speaking with respect and as an equal. You could always argue over that they receive money. But, the question remains is whether we would exchange jobs if the income was same? A question better left unanswered in a society which does not profess job equality.

Jean-Pierre Melville's movie ends on a sad note with all its main protagonist  suffering a bitter end. It left my eyes moist as the army disintegrates under the heavy pressure of the Gestapo. But what of the fate of our army. I see a different end for this merry band. As education empowers them, I see them grow and  produce champions. I hope to see  that magnificent rise very soon :-)

The Fatal Cat Fights

Well, I'll start this on a cautious note. I am a complete fan of these fights. They catch me hook, line and sinker. Lol...don't go on calling me a sadist for my strange penchant! I know all of you guys will never go and actually stop one. And how proud we males would be if we were the cause of contention of that fight ? The complicated group equations amongst can often create a devastatingly funny ambience . Not only are these clashes universal but they are unbelievably secular.. You can watch of all this entertainment right from the village mohallas to the posh theatres and often right in the middle of a crowded road irrespective of caste, creed or religion.

The ferocity with which our otherwise shy and coquettish females display to each other in these clashes will make you wonder why many of them don't get employed in the army and stand on the borders guarding the nation. Men fights are so boring . They will just end in a melee of broken heads, blood and often peace pact. No chance of that in a cat fight. They amazingly inventive use of invectives with the glares and if you are lucky , yeah, a physical mash makes up something that no true cinema has captured in its temerity and ferocity. IMO, we should have chosen female leads to provide us some great spice content.Why miss the fun :p

And amazingly these things do not wither out with age or having children. In a family function in my village, we employed certain ladies for cooking and cleaning. Now, what we were not aware was that we had deprived another group of ladies of their living. Unable to control their egos, the final show down occurred right in middle of the function between two ladies carrying children on their hips. The climax of which was a action packed slapping contest. I started noticing how happy the kids were when their moms were swinging their hands against each other and shed crocodile tears when they stopped for a pause. To my utter surprise, nobody stopped it. And me, I was all in the mood to take a video only to be cautioned by my wise mom.

And if its not a great show down, a cat fight can be a slow , torturous climb . On a comment "Keep the change !" by the leader of one such cat group to the other, the misery of common male friends is complete. Unable to open their mouths in support of any group, the barrage of negativity can just put you out of orbit. God save you if your GF and your best female friend/sister end up at opposite ends. Often soured relations will never heal. Best advice , stay away from the resolving job. Its not our cup of tea. What one female can be to other as an enemy is a creation of God. They might just put past his advice and carry it in their next janaams. I can see God raise his hands in exasperation as I put an end to my rumbles from within .

In a Complicated Relationship

The wake up call came yesterday when my 15 year old "durka"nephew posted "In a complicated relationship" on his Facebook wall. I had barely finished satisfying the rumbles in my stomach when Wham! In a flash, his status was swarming with enquiring comments like ants on sugar. To my utter amazement, he would have made Einstein tear some of his remaining hair with his witty replies! Attaboy, proud to be your uncle on that note!If that was not enough, the evening entertainment was provided by another lovely lady friend. Quietly, up went the status "In a complicated relationship". By night, her status was being probed deep enough to suggest that we could employ a few hands in our CBI to solve its woes of addressing burgeoning number of scams and investigations of our shameless politicos. That our judiciary is inept is an altogether different propostion and for another blog Coming back to the ripples that social media is creating in our day to day lives, its amazing to se that personal information like relationship status are being placed in a complex dimension. Does such a status update mean:

1.My young nephew in one sided love affair
2.He is in an affair but not necessarily love
3.He got a guy (I hear a distant "Nahiiiiiiii" from my Sister)
4.My lady friend at the start of a love bloom
5.She is crying at the end of a failed relationship
6.She has got a girl(She never looked like that of a kid)
7. All those other things that go beyond my mental capacity

Not that I wanna do some deep analysis on this topic but what's the harm in getting the rusty brain a little jog. I did want to raise my hands up and give a "Who on earth cares?" shrug at some point. No point in acting a snob. The holy business of gossip didn't survive because people didn't care. It survived exactly for the opposite reason. So, here comes the dilemma. The status is not informative at all! It doesn't tell me anything and on the contrary, raises too many questions. Wait let me just don my Cape crusader look and become Detective Batman. Or put my Sherlock homes hat and put a tobacco pipe in my mouth.

As I battle my wits out, I realise now much fun my nephew is having . Don't worry I'll figure it out in time. And then do the evil job of informing my cousin sister ! I am left with a wicked smile at the thought of what would follow. Don't worry bhatija...I'll save u this time. Our chacha- bhatija relationship just turned a little complicated :p

Tomato Mozzarella

This is a quick snack dish to feed you when you are really hungry. The choice of bread is yours. The only thing you require beforehand is the basil pesto

 Ingredients for Pesto* :  150 g fresh basil without stems (Kasturi Tulsi) if you are in Bangalore. You can pluck this if you grow a basil plant in your house
=> 4 cloves of peeled garlic
=> 50 g pine nuts roasted( you can choose walnuts as an option)
=> 50 ml extra virgin oil divided into 2 parts
=> 75 g Parmesan cheese finely grated
=> Salt and pepper to taste
[Recipe is from Ritu Dalmia's "Italian Khanna"]
Procedure : 1. Place the  basil leaves, garlic and nuts in a food processor with steel blade. Process until the basil and garlic is finely choppd
2. Add half of the olive oil . Its great if you can do this in a slow stream when the processor is on. Turn off the processor, and add the Parmesan. Process again till all the cheese  is absorbed
3. Stop and add the remaining olive oil. Keep the machine running until the pesto is creamy. Add salt and pepper as per taste
The pesto can be stored for a long period of time in a airtight container and used when required.

Ingredients for Tomato Mozzarella:
=> Ciabatta bread(You can choose one that suits you)
=> Mozarella Cheese two good chunks
=> 2 tomatoes cut vertically
=> Basil pesto

Procedure: Cut the bread into two halves. Further, slice each half down the center. Apply pesto generously to each of the quarters. Insert tomatoes between them. Put the cheese as well.
Warm the  halves in an oven/pan until the cheese melts. I haven't done this an oven so I can't tell you the time setting. But  you could experiment with a good 2 minutes.

In these trying times when onion prices are going up, tomato provides a much cheaper alternative.
Enjoy your breakfast :)

The rise of the XXX industry

As we wait on one of the most crucial judgements for the Nirbhaya rape case, the past six months have thrown bare several crucial points to ponder. The Nirbhaya rape incident which occurred on 16 December 2012 mobilized the conscience of the whole nation. But, the fallout of the protests did little to stop the rise of the rape incidents in the country. Delhi remains the most notorious place for crime but then there is a good spread of these incidents occurring across all states. The amount of legislation and money put in the Nirbhaya fund was also not enough in my opinion to stop or curb any repeat of such incidents. If there is any thing, it seems to have grown unconcerned.
It occurred to me that punishment as a deterrent is not going to work. First, we need to understand the reasons as such to why objectification of women is leading to these heinous crimes. Let me get to the first part of hate against women. In a strong patriarchal society like India, men have always thought women as a part of their property. This also finds resonance in the Indian law system wherein a women is treated as a property of a father/husband/brother. With roles of women curtailed to kitchen and family, it was a man’s job to provide means of sustenance for the family. Several brilliant and talented women lost their careers as family took precedence over career. However, in the last two decades things have changed rapidly. With the growth of sectors like IT and retail, more and more women found employment. They started getting educated and trained. The economic freedom provided them an opportunity to pursue their careers. Naturally, they came in competition to men for roles of growth in organizations and families. This has largely been perceived as a threat by the males . In organization where behavior could be curtailed it was marked but the repercussions are seen in the family. Overall, the expression of hate has found its resonance due to inability of society to provide a level playing framework of competition for men and women. We were not prepared to handle independent and smart women and as such we are purely doing reactive measure.
Where did rape come into picture? I think this is due to the rise of the XXX or the blue industry. This industry is the only industry which has shown growth even during the economic meltdowns. I remember certain discussion in my teens wherein the female body and their orifices were visualized only for sensual pleasures . But, its my belief that the blue industry and its tentacles in young males is generating an arrogance which I do not want to put in words. As the stars of this industry put their vicious grip on the young, most grow fantasizing young women in this very way. Its a very animistic instinct and very difficult to control. Its difficult to quantify how far this rot in the male mind has gone. In my personal experience, a lot of men find acceptance in teaching an independent women a lesson through violence and the most agreed is often sexual in nature. Its not that rape as a measure to teach women(intelligent and independent) their place below men did not exist earlier. It was subdued perhaps because women did not directly compete with men at work. A negative comment by a women is often taken as an affront to males dominion status. A natural reaction by a lesser mind would be to hurt that women in some women. If that is not possible, the frustration is borne out by some other vulnerable women. With so many women out of their houses for work at odd hours, anybody could be a target of this built up frustration.

So what is the solution? At some point of time, we as a society need to come up with a framework to address the space for women. They have been wanting this space for so long.Our definition of women as somebody’ mother, sister or wife needs to be changed to her individuality. This should percolate from the top to the bottom. The family values for women should share their demand for freedom and space for creativity. Often, we choose the eldest male to be the heir for the family. The transformation would be to select the most talented for that job. But, also for women, they should understand that this is going to take time and will not be free of its hassles. Young lads should be taught to visualize the body in some form of art like painting, dancing etc. It will liberate their minds of voyeurism and objectification. If the space in the family and mind of men is made, I think that women will have a much safer world to live in. Lets hope we live to see such a world!

[This one is for Bincy. Thanks for reminding me to write about it]

Sleepless Nights

I have had a fair share of good peaceful nights. These are times when the body and mind tired from the abuse of the day find its solace in the bed of night.I remember my grandma's tales of heroism and valour of kings as well as the beauty of queens. She was not an educated lady but through her folklore of yore,
she imbibed in all us siblings the virtues of righteousness and spirit of survival. And how well I slept hearing this. As she patted on my head singingsongs which she learnt as a child, I passed from the realms of reality to the world of dreams where for me everything was possible.I was in a world filled with magical creatures, centaurs and unicorns.There were mermaids,nymphs and gods. I miss all of that now.

As times have changed, so has sadly my ability to pass peacefully  into the world of dreams. Every day I take into myself something which takes away from me the beauty of the transition which my grandmother gently put me through. The "something" can be terrorist blowing up bombs, rapes of children, apathy of life and the bias that the world puts us through every day. AS my generation gets loaded with the data that  is being blindly subjected to, my mind cleverly filters the larger picture removing the tiny details. It is these tiny details that I come to face in my dreams.And certainly, some of them turn into nightmares. As a child,I used to wake up in sweat when such nightmares came to me in the middle of night. And my grandmother calmly woke up, fetched me a glass of water and patted me back to sleep. I have no patting now. I face the terrors of the minute details as a lone warrior. As my peaceful sleep ends in nightmare and possibly brings me back to reality with my throat parched, I sit sipping the glass of water. Is this generation condemned to
few hours of sleep? We all share the same problem and the same worries. I share the history of sleep with the ancient men. They must have had their share of worries but they had the will to sleep peacefully. It is this will that is ebbing away from me nowadays. Many people boast about the lesser number of hours they sleep or the hours they burn the oil lamp for. As we hide behind excuses of movies, tv shows and sacrifice our sleep, will we be punished for the laying on the altar one of the most basic ingredient of our life? I think we all know the answer for that. As I put an end to my tale of woe after waking from a nightmare,  I am reminded of the title of  a beautiful poem "A Dream within a Dream" by Edgar Allan Poe. I hope I am in just in a dream within a dream and waiting to be patted back to sleep.

Sophie's choice

How steep or cruel can choices be? There can be no end in personal and professional life wherein competition and love makes us do dastardly acts. As I reflect upon the human mind in chaos when tumultous choices pour out of unexplored pockets of life...we face the barrage of human emotions for which none of us will ever have the capacity or possible build a capacity. One such choice that comes to my mind is in the movie "Sophie's choice". The talented and beautiful Meryl Streep(of the Iron Lady fame) is on the anvil of such a choice.

The movie revolves around the life of a beautiful girl, Sophie during the Nazi invasion of Poland. The Polish
population is subjected to cruelty and many are moved to Auswitchz concentration camp (A site in Krakow Poland which I one day will definitely visit and pray for the departed).  In an epic hair raising scene, Sophie along with her two young children, Jan and Eva is forced a cruel decision by the Nazi officer manning the gates of Auswitchz.She, either, has to select one of her children for the gassing chambers(A certain death!) and the other to the labour camp in a matter of minutes.The officer tells her that if she doesn't make a choice almost surely he will send both the children to the gassing chamber.

 I saw the scene repeatedly again and again. The beauty of Sophie with her shining wide eyes,
the fear in the children, the calmness of the sadistic Nazi officer and the cruelest silence one can ever witness as Sophie's goes through the emotions of horror, shock and the end acceptance of her choice. I could not escape Eva,one hand cuddled around Sophie and in the other having a small doll . Jan is all wrapped around Sophie's thigh, standing, fearing to look at the officer as the children also realize the choice forced on their mom. Sophie does make a choice when the officer warns her of not acting quickly and nearly snatching both the children. She let goes her daughter to the gassing chamber and saves her son.

Much has been debated over Sophie's choice. Was Sophie's choice correct? Many argue that there was hardly anything Sophie could do in such a cruel situation. Her options were crazy and no matter what she chose would appear crazy to people if she reasoned it out. The eccentric reason she gives for making the choice is that while Eva had a doll to hold on to Jan was completely dependent on her. This might sound crazy but to me as a mother she made of choice who depended on her more at that very moment of time. Several people argue that in such a situation she should have witheld the choice and let both her children
go to the chambers. This sounds another crazy option...but as it turns out it makes sense. By making her choice, the sadistic officer has passed on the responsibility of killing the child on to Sophie who must now live with this choice every day of her life.
Certain extra ordinary circumstances call for extraordinary measures. In the movie, her son is lost in the concentration camp and Sophie's choice faces a bitter end. Sophie comes out of the concentration camp alive and however, enable to live off the trauma enters into a relationship with another mentally ill survivor of the camp. She has a casual relationship with a reporter whome she tells about her choices. The reporter asks her to marry her..however, she returns back to her earlier relationship(shame of realising that how she left her loved ones) only to be shot ill fatedly by her lover during his mental fits.

Sophie comes out as a weak character to me. She tries to reason out with evil and expect something good out of them. In the end, she bears the responsibility of the choice. She goes back to her lover when she has a more fruitful relation with the reporter. I possibly cannot say that I can understand but then, such is the nature of life. Before you denounce me as evil for my harsh judgement, have a clear look in Sophie's character and say that. Put in yourself in her shoes(A big ask)...and remember situations where you made evil choices.
Maybe, her "choice" isn't that cruel after all for we might have made far more evil choices....

The ghost of 20 years.....

It’s been 20 years since Bombay witnessed the riots of 1993. It was my first encounter of life threatening violence as a small boy. The Bombay riots were in full flow in the terrible months of Dec 1992-Jan 1993. Until then, life for me was fun with friends and family intertwined with homework, play and school.  But, it all changed in those horrible 2 months as the full blown impact of violence destroyed the last  shreds of innocence. I have hated seeing blood all those tender years. But the terrible display of it on TV channels and news with people cutting each other was and is still etched in my memory and vividly. The religious nature of the riots changed for ever the religion distinction in my mind . Ever since those past of 20 years, Mumbai has been haunted by the past in  the form of Bombay Bombings(1993), the serial blasts in the trains( 2003 and 2006)and the 26/11 terror attacks(2008) which can be perceived as acts of retribution.

Bombay is a metropolitan city which harbors the dreams of many.  It’s a fast city where work ethics are appreciated and display of political connections largely frowned upon. It’s a place which houses an astonishing 2 crore people and from diverse backgrounds. It’s a largely plural fabric and caste/religion based discriminations are largely avoided.

This all changed in a matter of 2 months as we watch our city burn. The violence was incited in 2 phases each lasting a period of 1-2 weeks. The December 1992 phase was largely due tothe retribution sought for the demolition of the Babri Masjid. This phase lasted exactly a week and fizzled out. The blood shedding was largely restricted to certain areas in Mumbai and did not spread to the fringe areas like mine. I was in a good convent school and we had quite an appreciable number of Muslim students. The schools closed down in the wake of violence and we are quite enjoying the holiday during those turbulent times. It was a daily dose of fun and frolic minus the homework for us.

However, things turned from bad to ugly in the second phase of the violence in Jan 1993.The second phase was clearly incited by the local politicians. They wanted revenge for the earlier killings and incited mobs to go on killing spree. The wounds of the first phase were still fresh and what followed was a systematic destruction of life and property. Swords, knives and all sorts of sharp objects were mobilized . Hindu and Muslim mobs  went on a rampage and started lynching each other as  sworn enemies. Torching of humans became common and destruction of property omnipresent. This time around even fringe areas like mine were not spared.

 My locality had a Hindu majority with a few people from the minority communities. We were a community of 36 building spread across around a 75-100 acre area. Each building was geographically distributed and there were no common gates. Hence, each building was forced to look after its

own security. Till that day, the sharpest object I had come across was a scissor and a sharp knife. And then suddenly I saw swords, axes and all weapons being gathered in my building in those early days of January. The very elders whom I have laughed with and played along were disturbed, red eyed and fearful. Then, one of the buildings had an idea and they installed an alarm bell in each of the resident's house. Along with this was also the start of the night vigils as the violence escalated in the mid January phase. I still remember that we were all inside the house by 9 pm. The elders would keep a watch through out the night. I also knew the place where the weapons hidden. One night my buildings had a power failure. At this juncture, for  the first time the alarms went off. I had read in a book that you could taste fear and my young nubile mind never had grasped the idea. But, that very night I knew what it really meant.As a complete chaos ensued of shouts, yells and running feet throughout the building, I never knew when I started crying. And then I realized I wasn't alone.AS my mom put a reassured warm hand around us 3 children, the elderly men folk went in search for the reason why the bell went off. This scene is a photographic memory in my head and surfaces every time but lately has disappeared. It wasn't until an hour later that the elders returned. My uncle had a mark on his hand because of steel rod being hit. It turned out they were only two people carrying iron rods and ran off seeing the site of so many people. There were one or two more false alarms but then life limped back to normal in my locality. The swords disappeared in time and the alarm bell as I came to know later was removed.

Bombay was never the same city after the violence of 1993. The event changed our lives forever and segregated the Mumbai demography in ghettos. The Muslim population shifted to the vicinity of areas like Mumbra, Kalwa and Andheri.  Amjath, Yasmeen and their family moved to Mumbra. Theirs was the worst plight as they had stayed with us for a decade and long. The violence had badly affected them and though our society besieged them on to stay they never thought of that as an option. Bombay also never repeated the communal violence again. We have been rocked by bomb blasts and enticements ever since. But, the plural fabric of Bombay stood strong and did not let revenge happen again. Under a strong vigil, we have built a new city, a new resilience and an undying spirit called the "Spirit" of Mumbai. And ever since that fateful month of January 1993, I have also avoided a like sounding alarm in all my houses. There is no pointing in bringing back a ghost of 20 years.....