It has never been more difficult and challenging than now to lure the fairer sex into our sweet talk. And if there is any sign of this great art inversely abeting with age of the women, think twice before you act. Gone are the days when you could trap a 5-6 year old for a peck on your cheek with talk of lollipops and chocolates. Its now a full blown greed that is the thorn that a modern man sits to appease the demands of these fatal females.
I never miss an opportunity, though, to battle my wits with these young fairies in hope that my charm would ultimately win over their often underestimated wisdom. And yes they do battle hard for their own sake as I see amazingly where the seeds of resilience of modern day woman are sowed. Women in all shapes and sizes are animals difficult to please. At a party I targeted a six year old of my charm. My final wish was to earn her hand in marriage as a part of the deal and gleefully walk away with a peck on my cheek. I approached her and asked, "Whats your name?". "Dia" she replied. Realising that she was really comfortable, I further deepened the plot with talk of school and best friends. I suddenly popped with the million dollar question,"Will you marry me?". Now there is something about women of all ages and the notion of marriage. A mere mention of that sent her in bounds of delight which I took for a big "Yes".It was akin to complementing a boy for playing like Sachin. Nevertheless she soon proved my equal in the art of bargaining. Pressing home the advantage, I asked her "Where will we stay?". She yelled in a big house with AC and servants. Point 1 to note is at 6 years she has already thought of a house. Cleverly, I gave her a planet called Falan to live which she gracefully accepted. I remarked, " What will we eat? Who will cook food?". Poor thing had no answer. I saved her the blushes saying that we will eat pineapples on the planet and I will cook for her. Time for my peck on the cheek question. What will we do for the whole day? "Play swing swing " pat came the answer. No ,I said until I receive a peck on the cheek with which I was gladly rewarded.Mission accomplished.
You can see clearly my charms working on the younger maidens. Now, the point why it does not work on their elder counterparts is unfathomable to me. I have applied all lotions and creams to get their attraction. Spraying myself with axe wodoo to get the famed "axe" effect, I walked in the middle of the road. I was sure that I would be soon followed by an army of heavenly nymphs. But to my utter surprise, I could only see a couple of street dogs behind me. Nor did changing my undergarments to those brands like Rupa, Lux or VIP get me a super sexy dame in my arm. It only ended me with a lot and scratching at the wrong ends.I tried using "fresh breath" as an ultimate weapon following to gather attention of any of the fairer denizens. I even tried to be "The complete Man" as the ads so profess with a dressing style to match. After I had run a complete course of shampoos, exotic soaps , perfumes, branded clothes etc I found difficult to get traction on infusing my charm on these elderly nymphs.
A dejected man as I was cooking came to my rescue. As my list of recipes increased, so did my fame. I cannot believe that the stench of sweat and masalas can be so attractive. Therein lies the conundrum. What attracts these eves is difficult to surmise. As I plan my next chess moves, I couldn't help but observe. The laws of attraction have changed.
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