In a Complicated Relationship

The wake up call came yesterday when my 15 year old "durka"nephew posted "In a complicated relationship" on his Facebook wall. I had barely finished satisfying the rumbles in my stomach when Wham! In a flash, his status was swarming with enquiring comments like ants on sugar. To my utter amazement, he would have made Einstein tear some of his remaining hair with his witty replies! Attaboy, proud to be your uncle on that note!If that was not enough, the evening entertainment was provided by another lovely lady friend. Quietly, up went the status "In a complicated relationship". By night, her status was being probed deep enough to suggest that we could employ a few hands in our CBI to solve its woes of addressing burgeoning number of scams and investigations of our shameless politicos. That our judiciary is inept is an altogether different propostion and for another blog Coming back to the ripples that social media is creating in our day to day lives, its amazing to se that personal information like relationship status are being placed in a complex dimension. Does such a status update mean:

1.My young nephew in one sided love affair
2.He is in an affair but not necessarily love
3.He got a guy (I hear a distant "Nahiiiiiiii" from my Sister)
4.My lady friend at the start of a love bloom
5.She is crying at the end of a failed relationship
6.She has got a girl(She never looked like that of a kid)
7. All those other things that go beyond my mental capacity

Not that I wanna do some deep analysis on this topic but what's the harm in getting the rusty brain a little jog. I did want to raise my hands up and give a "Who on earth cares?" shrug at some point. No point in acting a snob. The holy business of gossip didn't survive because people didn't care. It survived exactly for the opposite reason. So, here comes the dilemma. The status is not informative at all! It doesn't tell me anything and on the contrary, raises too many questions. Wait let me just don my Cape crusader look and become Detective Batman. Or put my Sherlock homes hat and put a tobacco pipe in my mouth.

As I battle my wits out, I realise now much fun my nephew is having . Don't worry I'll figure it out in time. And then do the evil job of informing my cousin sister ! I am left with a wicked smile at the thought of what would follow. Don't worry bhatija...I'll save u this time. Our chacha- bhatija relationship just turned a little complicated :p

Tomato Mozzarella

This is a quick snack dish to feed you when you are really hungry. The choice of bread is yours. The only thing you require beforehand is the basil pesto

 Ingredients for Pesto* :  150 g fresh basil without stems (Kasturi Tulsi) if you are in Bangalore. You can pluck this if you grow a basil plant in your house
=> 4 cloves of peeled garlic
=> 50 g pine nuts roasted( you can choose walnuts as an option)
=> 50 ml extra virgin oil divided into 2 parts
=> 75 g Parmesan cheese finely grated
=> Salt and pepper to taste
[Recipe is from Ritu Dalmia's "Italian Khanna"]
Procedure : 1. Place the  basil leaves, garlic and nuts in a food processor with steel blade. Process until the basil and garlic is finely choppd
2. Add half of the olive oil . Its great if you can do this in a slow stream when the processor is on. Turn off the processor, and add the Parmesan. Process again till all the cheese  is absorbed
3. Stop and add the remaining olive oil. Keep the machine running until the pesto is creamy. Add salt and pepper as per taste
The pesto can be stored for a long period of time in a airtight container and used when required.

Ingredients for Tomato Mozzarella:
=> Ciabatta bread(You can choose one that suits you)
=> Mozarella Cheese two good chunks
=> 2 tomatoes cut vertically
=> Basil pesto

Procedure: Cut the bread into two halves. Further, slice each half down the center. Apply pesto generously to each of the quarters. Insert tomatoes between them. Put the cheese as well.
Warm the  halves in an oven/pan until the cheese melts. I haven't done this an oven so I can't tell you the time setting. But  you could experiment with a good 2 minutes.

In these trying times when onion prices are going up, tomato provides a much cheaper alternative.
Enjoy your breakfast :)

The rise of the XXX industry

As we wait on one of the most crucial judgements for the Nirbhaya rape case, the past six months have thrown bare several crucial points to ponder. The Nirbhaya rape incident which occurred on 16 December 2012 mobilized the conscience of the whole nation. But, the fallout of the protests did little to stop the rise of the rape incidents in the country. Delhi remains the most notorious place for crime but then there is a good spread of these incidents occurring across all states. The amount of legislation and money put in the Nirbhaya fund was also not enough in my opinion to stop or curb any repeat of such incidents. If there is any thing, it seems to have grown unconcerned.
It occurred to me that punishment as a deterrent is not going to work. First, we need to understand the reasons as such to why objectification of women is leading to these heinous crimes. Let me get to the first part of hate against women. In a strong patriarchal society like India, men have always thought women as a part of their property. This also finds resonance in the Indian law system wherein a women is treated as a property of a father/husband/brother. With roles of women curtailed to kitchen and family, it was a man’s job to provide means of sustenance for the family. Several brilliant and talented women lost their careers as family took precedence over career. However, in the last two decades things have changed rapidly. With the growth of sectors like IT and retail, more and more women found employment. They started getting educated and trained. The economic freedom provided them an opportunity to pursue their careers. Naturally, they came in competition to men for roles of growth in organizations and families. This has largely been perceived as a threat by the males . In organization where behavior could be curtailed it was marked but the repercussions are seen in the family. Overall, the expression of hate has found its resonance due to inability of society to provide a level playing framework of competition for men and women. We were not prepared to handle independent and smart women and as such we are purely doing reactive measure.
Where did rape come into picture? I think this is due to the rise of the XXX or the blue industry. This industry is the only industry which has shown growth even during the economic meltdowns. I remember certain discussion in my teens wherein the female body and their orifices were visualized only for sensual pleasures . But, its my belief that the blue industry and its tentacles in young males is generating an arrogance which I do not want to put in words. As the stars of this industry put their vicious grip on the young, most grow fantasizing young women in this very way. Its a very animistic instinct and very difficult to control. Its difficult to quantify how far this rot in the male mind has gone. In my personal experience, a lot of men find acceptance in teaching an independent women a lesson through violence and the most agreed is often sexual in nature. Its not that rape as a measure to teach women(intelligent and independent) their place below men did not exist earlier. It was subdued perhaps because women did not directly compete with men at work. A negative comment by a women is often taken as an affront to males dominion status. A natural reaction by a lesser mind would be to hurt that women in some women. If that is not possible, the frustration is borne out by some other vulnerable women. With so many women out of their houses for work at odd hours, anybody could be a target of this built up frustration.

So what is the solution? At some point of time, we as a society need to come up with a framework to address the space for women. They have been wanting this space for so long.Our definition of women as somebody’ mother, sister or wife needs to be changed to her individuality. This should percolate from the top to the bottom. The family values for women should share their demand for freedom and space for creativity. Often, we choose the eldest male to be the heir for the family. The transformation would be to select the most talented for that job. But, also for women, they should understand that this is going to take time and will not be free of its hassles. Young lads should be taught to visualize the body in some form of art like painting, dancing etc. It will liberate their minds of voyeurism and objectification. If the space in the family and mind of men is made, I think that women will have a much safer world to live in. Lets hope we live to see such a world!

[This one is for Bincy. Thanks for reminding me to write about it]